In Stories We Live
As I move ever closer to completing my last study I am faced with that old familiar friend -fear. Though it breaks my heart I decided it was time to face this friend and foe.
This project is more than just a study for me as an artist. It is a chapter of my life. I initially differed this project due to the passing of a much believed older brother. His death came in quickly and unexpected. We knew he was sick when he was diagnosed with Cancer but within months he was gone. How can someone you’ve known your entire life be gone?
He was and still is one of the biggest influences of my life and I wanted to dedicate this MA study to him. This proved much more challenging than first expected and meant I was continually afraid of the project itself. The many directions I tried to approach kept leading me to subjects of death, therapy and healing yet instead of comfort I only became more overwhelmed and more afraid of the project leading me to struggle and hide away.
Now as I embrace finishing this study I feel those familiar fears creeping up on me. Today is different though, because now I realise it’s just as much about facing the reality of the situation and accepting that life has forever changed. And so instead of being afraid I am empowered to face one the most difficult challenges of my life. While this may sound dramatic considering the context be academia it stands for so much more. It is the end to a story.
The end however is not what I first thought it would be. It’s not a disrespect, a decision to forget those whom I have cared for and lost and indeed it is not closing a book and therefore the story is gone. Even when we finish our stories and close the cover the story is still with us. Even though our loved ones are gone, they are still with us. The part they played in the story of our life is still as ever important and essential in the creating of us, of who we are and who we are yet to become.
This study has looked at both entropy and growth of stories through the medium of song and there is an imminent recurring theme of those telling the story of those who are no longer here to tell their own. We tell others stories for them. The way the stories can never really end. Even if there journey has. We can always re-tell their stories with our own.
None of us are infinite. We all at some point will write our last chapter. But the gift of story telling allows us to share with others, to give them our stories and allow us to replay the part. In life there is death but in stories there is still life.
Tell thier story.